


What We Do In The Shadows Incorrect Quotes

by GayGothicFanboy



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (2014), What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Incorrect Quotes, Trans!Nadja
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:35:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21923020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayGothicFanboy/pseuds/GayGothicFanboy
Summary: Incorrect quotes from your favorite Wellington and Staten Island vampires.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless, Jenna/Nadja (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Kudos: 14





	1. 1

Viago: my name is Viago Von Dorna Schmarten Scheden Heimburg-

Deacon: geez, how many names do you fucking need?


	2. 2

Viago: hey guys i got a new note book what should i put in it?

Deacon: put spaghetti in it.

Viago: im no longer taking suggestions from you.

Vladislav: put spaghetti in it.

Viago: im no longer taking suggestions from you two.

Nick: put spaghetti in it.

Viago: im no longer taking suggestions.


	3. 3

Viago: I like to do some creative poses. Counter Attack! Hat Time! Pillow party! Falling swan! (Falls) uh I think something just cracked...


	4. 4

Deacon: come on, come on. Let's have some fun -- when I came out to my dad he said 'i have no son'.


	5. 5

Nadja: I AM NOT GAY! ...just kidding, I'm a little bit attracted to women. Actually, I'm very attracted to women.


	6. 6

Laszlo: the story of Dracula was real. Matter of fact, Lucy Westenra was my ex girlfriend.

Nadja: she was my ex girlfriend too.


	7. 7

Jenna: *cuddles Nadja*

Nadja: I could kill you.

Jenna: but you wouldn't.


	8. 8

Nandor: I made something for you.

Nadja: What?

Nandor: *hands her something*

Nadja: what-

Nandor: It's a wedding invitation for yours and Jenna's wedding. Do you like it?

Nadja:...sure.


	9. 9

Nadja & Jenna: *cuddle and make out*

Nandor: oh what great friends!

Nadja: yeah sure let's go with that.


	10. 10

Laszlo: Living in the US has affected us--we've had to deal with things humans had to deal with too.

Nadja: You have no idea how many speakeasies I had to go to.

Laszlo: I forgot you were an alcoholic.

Nadja *muttering*: to be married to you, I kinda have to be.


	11. 11

Laszlo: I hate my wife.

Nadja: I hate my life.

Nandor: BUTTER KNIFE!


	12. 12

Nadja: *stares at a cute girl*

Laszlo: what are you looking at? *looks* oh! Her! Let's both stare at her!


	13. 13

Nadja: so, I met this cute girl earlier this night…

Laszlo: did you guys hook up? I'm dying to know.


	14. 14

Laszlo: if you leave me, I'll die!

Nadja: You're already dead.

Laszlo: touché.


	15. 15

Jenna: we could kiss.

Nadja *smiling like a dork*: okay.


	16. 16

Nandor: I see us as a family. Nadja and Laszlo are like my parents. Guillermo is my brother. And Colin is that creepy uncle you don't want to interact with.


	17. 17

Nandor: on the contrary to popular belief, I actually do enjoy you being around.

Guillermo: thank you master.

Nadja: JUST FUCK ALREADY!


	18. 18

Nandor: *holds something up; it's fan art of him x Guillermo* Guieeemo, can you tell Nadja to stop shipping us?

Guillermo: yes master. 

(Five minutes later)

Guillermo: Nandor wants you to stop shipping us.

Nadja: NEVER!


	19. 19

Laszlo: can we have a kid?

Nadja: we already have one.

Laszlo:...what?

Nadja: It's called Nandor.


	20. 20

Deacon, talking to Nick: you look stupid doing it. Stop it. You're cursing my eyeballs.


	21. 21

Laszlo: You know what, I dont care that you are from Iran! I love you for you are.

Nadja: I didn't say that. 

Laszlo: then what did you say?

Nadja: I said I used to be a man.

Laszlo:...what?!


	22. 22

Nadja: You're a narcissistic asshole. I want to fucking kill you, pluck out your organs one by one, and toss them across the yard.  
Laszlo: i love you too.


	23. 23

Nadja as a parent: every time you yell at your kids put a quarter in the no yelling sock. And soon you'll have a weapon to beat them with.


End file.
